You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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