she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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