just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
