Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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