At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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