38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
