I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
