after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize