It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
