from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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