when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
