OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
