The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
