Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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