omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
