I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
