every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
