"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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