I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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