Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize