about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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