I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
