The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize