just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize