I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
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