you guys were way drunker than both of me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
