do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
