after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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