Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
