my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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