i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize