Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
