Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
