I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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