So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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