I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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