are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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