Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
