Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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