nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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