i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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