my mouth tastes like poor choices
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
