I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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