Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
