Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
