I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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