sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
