So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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