i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
