i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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