Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
