First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
In America we eat man semen.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Alive.
So much puke
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I fill condoms, not promises.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
