Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize