I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
