Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
