I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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