He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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