I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
